


Fool's Game

by ngm



Category: SuperMansion (Cartoon)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, admission of feelings, fairly canon, fanfiction inception, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 21:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngm/pseuds/ngm
Summary: After Black Saturn as Mange has an encounter with The Groaner, he has to write it out in his favorite medium, fanfiction. Shame if someone found it after some time passed, eh? Maybe the clown can give him some writing pointers too.





	Fool's Game

 

 

\- - - 

WELL FUCK!!!!

Black Saturn looked down at his drawer of sex toys and frowned, his eyes widening as he flicked over the more than a dozen dick-shaped items. 

None of them were big enough. 

Even the thought of his nemesis' dick was enough to send a shudder through him. 

What the HELL!!! Why was it that of every single person he'd ever know or would know, the GROANER was blessed with what was easily a weapon. He... probably wasn't allowed into certain countries with that thing. 

CJ moved with the frantic grace of a horny teenager, falling into his computer chair as he flicked open a browser tab and then out of habit, a blank word document. If he wasn't going to be able to masturbate this out of his system immediately, he'd have to A) Buy the right sized 'personal massager' type item online and B) Write it out. 

Fanfiction had become kind of thereaputic for him, an outlet that had been encouraged in his youth as 'creative writing' but the internet does funny things to the adolescent mind-- opens a lot of doors to new things-- sure porn was amazing and awesome... but also had a level of jealousy, inferiority... 

Fiction was different and when he realized he could then write (and write HIMSELF) into pretty much any situation he could imagine, well-- it'd been pretty liberating. In his fantasy world, Saturn had done ALL of the things to almost all of the characters-- hell, he put Tina Belcher to utter shame, he had in a time-travel fic too, where they were teenage-- ya know what, not important. 

At the moment, CJ had searched "xxl thick doc johnson silicone dildo" in the search bar, then clicked over to the blank document.

"Hmm... How should I do this?" 

A moment to think, leaning back in his rolling chair and folding his hands over his stomach. Could do a... Yes, that'd be fucking perfect!!! Like, OZ! But less drugs. Well, unless those drugs were dicks. 

Black Saturn chuckled to himself, brow furrowed with contemplation as he began to hammer away at his keyboard. He'd managed to finish the story in one big, long shot, face red and eyes wide by the second time he'd read through it. 

Shit, he'd even forgotten to finish looking up the dildo but after all of that... he REALLY needed to. 

\---

And time passes, as it always does... things explode, mansions are rebuilt... Pizza places are demolished, friends are located, _FINALLY_!! Time is traveled and yet...

 ...there will always be GoogleDocs and for that CJ was grateful. The computer was replaced, all of his sexy-time shenanigans were re-acquired and with the knowledge of Groaner being alive and still in Storm City, a bit more of a familiar friendship had been born. 

Familiar really just meant that Black Saturn would call the other man up at random and ask if he wanted to sneak in, hang out in his room, eat pizza, watch movies (he'd let the clown introduce him to Quentin Tarantino's other movies  'there's more than Pulp Fiction?' and that had been a success) they were like... buddies even! Easy and comfortable and it was nice to have the other guy around and have him seem like he WANTED to be there too... 

\---

It was a day like any other really, Sgt. Agony had come through the house, ragged on Rex for a while, which made Rex bitch at everyone else for trivial shit, which cued the rest of the team backpedaling out of the kitchen and to their various rooms. Black Saturn had hardly let his door slam shut before hitting the speed-dial for his nemesis-turned-buddy.  

"Heyyy G, Whatcha doin'?" 

The clown looked around the 'lair' of the Injustice league and let out an irritated sound. 

"I am waiting for you to ask me to come over, that's what..." Groaner murmured into his phone, leaning back on the couch he was lying on to stare up at the ceiling. "It's boring here and I'm, I'm gonna put Buster in the goddamn microwave one of these days, I'm gonna do it man..." 

"Aww, don't, it'll be a mess and you'll get in trouble and won't be able to come over..." Came Saturn's whine and he smiled. "'Will you come over?'" 

The Groaner grinned in response, though the other man couldn't see it. 

"Took you long enough, window or door?" 

"Uhh.. it's been a weird day, window okay?"

"So much cardio..."

"Come onnn..." 

"Okay, fine, I'll be there in like, 20." 

"Awesome!!" 

Tossing his phone to his desk, CJ hopped up, moving quickly to his bookcase. Twenty minutes meant he could jerk off real quick, get whatever was building in him over the other guy out of his system and carry on 'normally'.

 If he could process guilt properly, he'd feel it over the need to rub one out before the other guy came over-- every single time. He was a 28 year old PRO at masturbating and hadn't yet been caught up by his own need for release, ever expeditious with plucking  the unmarked dark purple binder from the middle of the shelf of identical ones, tossing it to the bed as he went to his drawer of new dicks. 

He HAD found one that was as similar to the clown as he could recall by the way, though it wasn't pale like he'd expected, that didn't really matter; Saturn wasn't trying to look at the fake dick, he was trying to ride it. 

The vigilante didn't even bother to shed his clothing, already growing erect beneath his uniform as he found the cock that was closest to the one he was getting desperate to be smashed by . Moments later, he was on his bed, straddling the length of silicone against his ass and reaching for the binder of his own pristine printed and page-protected fan-fiction. 

Time was ticking on as he writhed, but this was routine.. He was hardly to the part where the clown was pressing up against Mange's ass, telling him how gorgeous he was, but how he wished he was... 'someone else' and a shrill noise burst past lips as he thrust against his bed, against that wide dildo that was spreading his asscheeks... It wasn't the same. Well, not that he REALLY knew what it was like... but it was as exhilirating as he could make it, as vivid as he could imagine it and quickly CJ stuffed his hand into his leather pants to smother what he could of his orgasm, jizzing into his gloved fingers... Ohh fuck, he had a few minutes to tidy up before the clown got here... 

First thing, new gloves, second thing, put away dick and fling open the window to air out the lust-must, third, re-shelve the binder and run to the bathroom to make sure everything looked good. 

All of these routines were carried out with precision, all but the binder, which stuck out just an inch-too far, throwing off the orderly look of the several purple books in a row. Saturn hadn't noticed when he'd returned from the lavatory, as normal-seeming as he could muster and grazed by the window in time to see his nemesis flailing up at him. One rope ladder toss later and two minutes of anxious pacing saw the clown through his window; the vigilante offering his friend both hands. 

"We... ughh... we gotta work something out with that, dude. It's killing me..." The Groaner panted out, flopping onto the bed gracelessly. 

Saturn pulled up the rope-ladder and thought for a moment about the rocket shoes he had, that didn't work THAT well... and then that even if the offered them to the clown, they probably weren't big enough... and then the dick. It always came back to that and he shook his head. 

"We'll figure something out, Sgt. Agony was here today, being a loud cockass all day and it made Rex all fussy and just..." He shrugged while babbling, eyes drawn to the man lounged on his bed and looked away quickly, just as the Groaner sat up and got to his feet. The clown moved to gather up the other end of the ladder, folding it and moving with his nemesis as was routine, to one of the closets, tossing the apparatus in and slamming the door. 

"Oh boooy, sounds like a ton of fun. Shoulda called me sooner! You know how much I like that  guy!" 

"Really?"

The clown shook his head slowly, would have rolled his eyes if he could and settled his hands on his hips. It was a pose that was reminiscent of an older Groaner, of a balding one, with patches on his knees and more sass in his step. 

"No. C'mon dude, does ANYONE like him?"

"You've got a point."

"Damn right I do-- so, what do you wanna do tonight, saw there's a new Rifftrax up, they're doing some Tom Cruise movie..."

"IS IT JACK REACHER?!" 

"Uh, the second one, I think... Never gonna understand why you think he's an action hero. He's at best a gay vampire."

"JACK REACHER TWO, NEVER GO BACK?!?!" CJ screeched, pointedly ignoring any possible Cruise-slander while nearly grasping the other man's hands and shaking him. "Oh my GOD put it on!!! I'll go get us some snacks and order some pizzas, do you want any beer? Is this gonna be a beer night?" He was babbling again, grinning and stupid and the Groaner couldn't help but grin back.

He fucking HATED Tom Cruise. HATE. Like, go to his house, send him back to space in his Dianetics space ship and be done with it. He'd even say goodbye to Top Gun to be done with the creep... But it was worth seeing Saturn smile like that. The enthusiasm, the joy, the giddiness, it was worth listening to that Austrailian try to be a tough guy, if it meant he could watch the taller man with as rapt attention without interruption. 

"I.. uhh... unless you want me sleeping over, I'm good on beer, man. Not trying to wander across Storm City too buzzed." 

"So, beer it is then!" Black Saturn blurted, whirling to the door of his room glanced over his shoulder. "Be good, okay?" Groaner scoffed at that, waving at the other man as he moved to seek one of the tv remotes. 

"As always!" The clown murmured, getting distracted by turning on the television. 

The taller man grinned at that, sneaking out of his room and shutting it as quietly as he could, skulking back downstairs while pulling out his phone and ordering some food. 

Meanwhile, the clown paced idly before the tv, waiting for the video subscription service of choice to load, he looked down at his shoes, around the room, at the remote and his head cocked to the side, noticing the slightly out of place binder. 

"Oooh, what could this be?" Binder of baby photos? That was a rich person thing, right? Blank books filled with starchy pictures of -- huh.

Groaner flipped open the binder to find several printed pages of plastic-protected writing. His gaze flicked over the black on white words and few things stuck out, like 'cock' and 'pressed' and 'shower' and finally 'Groaner' and he paused, setting down the remote and closing the binder. 

Wait a second. 

He sat back on the bed and took a deep breath, eyebrows raising. 

Was this a book of fanfiction? 

 

"

_~~~_

_Prison Bitch by Black Satin_

_MXM_

_NC-17_

_Groaner/Mange Lemon_

_September 2015_

_~~~_

A high-pitched laugh burst from the clown's mouth and he almost dropped the binder in order to smother the noise. 

No, no, no fucking way. His hands moved to his head and he palmed at his eye sockets, taking a few giggly breaths at the thought. 

Oh shit. Whyyyy.... 

But the intrigue was too great... And to think -- there was a moniker and if this binder was filled to the gills, then surely the other ones were too. The clown looked at the jammed bookshelf and shook his head. What a busy guy!

The Groaner flipped the binder back open and barked out a noise of amusement, taking a deep breath to calm down before focusing on the writing. This was deeply satisfying, on some weird, ego-stroking level. That Saturn had actually DONE this, sat down and typed out an... what, erotic fiction, was stunning and the clown would be full of it if he wasn't incredibly flattered. 

Now, to see if he'd done any justice. 

The video streaming service was all but forgotten at this point as the villain crossed his legs under himself and began to read. 

Huh... Little wordy, exposition, exposition, okay, here's where it got a little interesting. 

_~~~_

_The tension was high in their shared cell, the red-haired clown couldn't keep himself from staring longingly at the muscular hero in disguise. There must be some reason that the Groaner was left alone in his cell... maybe he couldn't be trusted around anyone else with the weapon he so expertly concealed._

_~~~_

"Ohhh, my God, what an idiottttt..." Groaner squealed out, a hand pressed to his cheek as he continued the page. 

~~~

_"We need to hit the showers, big guy..." The clown said with a husky breath, standing and starting to get naked in front of the other person then hesitating as he tugged at his tie._

_"We don't have to get... totally naked right now, do we?"_

_"Yes, in fact we do!" The clown murmured as he pulled off his vest, outline of his arousal pressing against his tan pants._

~~~

"Oh Goddddd... this is terribbbllleee..." He giggled, flopping back and holding the binder above his head as he carried on.  

~~~ 

_They got naked quickly and quietly in front of one another, but Mange turned out of modesty. Yes, he had an amazingly cut body, male-supermodel hot, but that didn't mean he was ready to show his goods off already._

_"Can I at least get a towel?"_

_"No, well. Okay. I mean, I don't want anyone else to see you, do I?"_

_"Huh?"_

_But there was no reply._

_The two men toweled up and Mange looked at the clown for some kind of guidance. He was new to being in prison, this place could be scary... but lucky for him, the pale one lead the way from their shared space once the gigantic guard let them out._

~~~ 

"'The pale one'..." 

A true cackle left the man and he sucked in a deep sigh. Maybe he should stop, this was almost embarassing--- Ah nah, what the hell, it was WAY better than watching a Tom Cruise flick and it most certainly allowed some questions to be asked. Sureee... he shouldn't be poking around Black Saturn's room, but what the hell, man! He was a villain and well, it was there and it wasn't HIS fault that it happened to... fall off of the shelf. Yes, that would be a fair excuse and there was a fair chance that Saturn would buy it too.

~~~

_The shower was already full of the other evil men but the strapping masked villain followed after the red-haired one, feeling hesitant but not entirely worried as he looked at the other man._

_"You know that in here, you have to belong to someone. Be their bitch. Bitch or be bitched."_

_Mange turned and stared at the other man once the towels dropped, trying to keep his mouth shut but it filled with saliva at the sight. How could it be that the man of his dreams also had the biggest dick in the world --_

~~~

Groaner stared at that, turning over to lie on his stomach and set the fiction down, brows raised nearly to his not yet receding hairline. 

WHAT? 

_~~~_

_\-- How could the redhead be more perfect?_

_~~~_

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. 

The clown re-read that a few times, brow furrowing before he continued. 

 Like, sure, it was fanfiction, but it was WRITTEN by the dude... About, well... them and for what it was worth despite ot being shoddily written, it was engaging in a way.

~~~

_"Just in here? In the shower?"_

_"In jail and they have to prove it."_

_Mange nodded, in a daze at what was happening. The shower was steamy from all of the faucets, everything was wet-- it was almost like his eyes were deceiving him but the masked bad guy rubbed at his eyes, taking a deep breath and looked up from the other man's crotch to his face, feeling guilty._

_"...they do?"_

_The Groaner nodded, hands on his waist as he sized up the other man._

_"Yes they do, I mean, it's either gonna be me, or well, anyone else in here, but I'll fight them."_

_"You will?" Mange felt himself blush at the thought. Then looked back down at the other man's growing need._

_"Holy SHIT look at that thing!"_

_"Like what you see, Mange?"_

_"I... do." The hero in disguise said boldly, meeting the clown's eyes._

_"Of course you do..." Groaner said smugly, taking a step closer as the tall, brooding vigilante moved closer._

_"Yeah..." Mange said, glancing at the other guy as the showers continued to steam up around them._

_"You're going to need someone to protect you in here."_

_"You... wanna protect me?" The hero in disguise mumbled in surprise, taking a step closer to the pale man._

_"Well, everyone has to know that you're mine, don't they?"_

_"Yeah..." Mange said with a husky breath, staring at the other man still. It was so exciting to think that somebody wanted him as much as he wanted them. "Am I yours?"_

_"In here you are..." Groaner purred, advancing on the well-toned man._  

~~~ 

"Advancing? What is this, To Catch A Predator?" The clown murmured to himself, feeling a little more embarrassed that he was almost getting into this story. The guy needed some major pointers but... he was getting to it and the getting there wasn't too terrible. The dialogue was a little... eh, but... it was kinda cute in a way.

Another chuckle left the Groaner as he thought about sitting down and revising fanfiction with the other man. How fucking absurd... but cute. Too cute.  

With a deep inhale, the villain continued on, chin resting on one fist as he found his spot and resumed reading. 

~~~ 

_"You don't even know me..." Mange panted out as he took a step back against the shower wall, hands on the saturated tiles._

_"I don't have to know you... besides, I'm just going to be pretending you're Black Saturn the whole time."_

_"Who?"_

_"Oh, the love of my life, you look enough like him to make this work for me."_

_Mange gasped at that, staring the red-haired man, wanting so badly to rip off his mask and show the clown that it was him! He was Black Saturn!!!_

~~~ 

"Oh... My God... This is so laaaaame..." Groaner sat back up, holding the binder to his chest and somehow managed to restrain the laughter that wanted to bubble out of it... and it wasn't even cruel, 'what a fool' laughter either, it was almost elation. Sure... he-- okay, technically he didn't have "eyes" but he had EYES... it hadn't been entirely difficult to tell that Saturn had intense feelings about their dynamic. There was just a good chance that he hadn't allowed himself to take a good look at it the situation... It was just too easy to chalk the hero's general enthusiasm up to him being simple and sweet... 

~~~

_"Oh you know who I'm talking about, Black Saturn, the hero that Storm City deserves, he's... Well, you'll do." The villain breathed, moving closer and boxing Mange against the shower wall._

_"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING OVER THERE!!!" The burly shower guard yelled and all he did was draw the attention of everyone else to the pale one and the new guy._

_"Well, what do we have here!" Came a high-pitched voice from the little rude Omega pet in prison._

_"Yes. A new human to destroy but not euthanize!" Blazar yelled, looming._

_"Are... we gonna eat him? What's the deal here guys?" Robo-Dino asked, looking around frantically._

_"He's mine and all of you are just going to have to deal with it!" The Groaner interrupted, turning around to shield Mange from the rest of the ravenous inmates._

_It was hard for the masked man to not reach out and touch the other man's waist, to hold him in front of him, but right now, he was Mange, not Black Saturn. The Groaner could never know it was him, especially not now._

~~~

Taking a deep breath, Groaner set the binder down and went for the remote, locating the stupid Tom Cruise movie and setting it in it's Rifftrax'd glory on pause before returning to the reading. He had to get to the good part before Saturn got back. 

~~~ 

_"If I have to do it in front of you all, I will!" The clown warned and reached back for the other man, pulling Mange's strong hands to his waist. Their bodies brushed and it would be hard for the masked villain to deny that he wasn't incredibly aroused at the thought of 'belonging' to the redhead, even if it was only like this._

_"Looks like you want it too..." The Groaner murmured with a turn of his head to the taller villain. "Go away, this is private business!!!" He then yelled at the crowd of degenerate perverts._

~~~

Arms full of pizza, beer and cookies, Black Saturn tapped at his bedroom door with his boot, unable to get the knob without there being some kind of food avalanche and was grateful when the door was whipped open and shut quietly behind him by the secret inhabitant of his room. 

That familiar knock had sent the Groaner scrambling off of the bed with not enough time to re-shelve the binder, up to the door and back to the bed after he'd locked it behind the other. There was no damn way he was going to NOT finish this, at least. A casual dive back to the bed had the clown lying across the binder, a head propped up on his palm as he glanced at Black Saturn. Nothing suspicious. 

"Took ya long enough man, jeez. I was beginning to think you forgot about me."

"You? AND Jack Reacher? Oh, no way, I just wanted to make sure I intercepted the Pizza John's kid otherwise we'd just have beer and cookies." 

"Beer and cookies still sounds good to me..." 

"Yeah, but it's not like, a complete meal..." Saturn murmured with a little whine that could easily have been interpreted as spousal as he set the boxes down on the bed between them. 

"Aww, fair enough. I mean, I'm not complaining!" Groaner grinned,  sitting up and making sure the binder was half under his thigh, still a little too eager about reading more. A glance over at the taller man and Saturn was wide-eyed, gazing up at the paused image of the Jack Reacher 2 logo-- did he know that there were three guys making fun of this movie the entire time playing over it?

Ehh, should be fun! 

It was too easy to be distracted by the binder, easy to be distracted by how rapt Black Saturn was at watching this shit movie (it was as if he couldn't even hear the commentary) and after finishing half a pizza to himself and two beers, it was extra easy for the Groaner to casually scoot back on the bed until he was lying back against the pillows, the purple menace of a book now under his hand. 

"Are you seeing this?!" CJ breathed, sitting on the edge of the bed, glancing back at his friend, then grinning back at the flat-screen. 

"Oh yeah buddy, I am just eating it up..." The clown murmured as he set the binder on his lap and flipped as silently as he could to the last page he'd been on. 

~~~ 

_The crowd in the shower dispersed but Mange wasn't able to even say a word, feeling too excited about the idea of being pressed against the other pale man. Oh, if only the Groaner knew that he was Black Saturn._

_"You're close enough to his body size, his shape... This is gonna  work..." The red-haired clown murmured out, turning in the other man's grasp. "But no kissing... that's just for him and you're wearing that dumb mask..." The clown said, pushing the other man back too easily._

_Mange leaned back against the wall, feeling dizzy from the sensation of naked skin on his own naked skin and let out a groan through his voice-piece, shuddering forward._

_"Do you do this to every new guy?"_

_"You're the only new guy that's ever been down here."_

_"Do you want to do this with every new guy?"_

_"Only you, for some reason... I'm drawn to you..."_

_He felt the massive length of the other man press against his ass and let out a noise through his mouthpiece, shuddering at the prospect of being penetrated by that beam of flesh._

~~~ 

Groaner snorted at that, clearing his throat quickly to disguise the noise. Good God, this might be a little bit of a struggle, at very least not to laugh. 

~~~

_The clown's hands touched wherever they could, grazing across smooth planes of muscle, ripped abs, toned thighs; he moved the taller villain to face the wall with his expert hands, fingers nimbly sliding to Mange's midsection. His pale fingers wrapped strongly around Mange's need and he squeezed as the taller man pressed into him._

_"Ever do gymnastics before?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"Cuz I'ma make you do a split."_

_Mange let out a surprised moan at that, shuddering as he pressed back against the shorter villain._

~~~ 

"Okay, you know what... " Groaner snapped the binder shut, tossing it to the middle of the bed. "Come here. Seriously, pause that and come here, we need to work on this." 

"Huh?" 

"Come here, dude." 

Saturn did as he was told, pausing the beloved movie before scooting up the bed. He instantly noticed his binder and reached for it, clutching the purple rectangle to his chest. 

"Uhhh, what... it's not... What are you talking about?"

The plum colored binder was gestured to and one of those wide red eyebrows went up in silent answer. 

"...Ohhh.. Okay, well, which one is it?"

"Which... one?"

CJ was fairly casual about the whole thing,  folding open the book, doing his damnedest to keep a neutral face as he flipped through the pages. 

"...Uhh... ya know." He slammed the binder shut, face flushing. "This is from a long time ago..." 

"Not THAT long ago..." The Groaner murmured, arms folding across his chest as he glanced sidelong at his sort-of-foe. 

"I didn't even get to the good part--" "--There are others--" 

They'd interrupted one another, both pausing with nearly identical looks of '...really?' on their faces but it was the clown who spoke first.

"Go on..."

And CJ smiled brilliantly in response, hopping off of the bed and shelving the binder before moving to his computer then beckoning the other man to come over. Two beers deep each and this seemed like a fair to decent enough idea. 

"Well, come here, there's like a whole arsenal of stuff I've got in GoogleDocs..." Saturn began, seeming awfully proud of something that might cause some people to feel shame. He was even more so bolstered as Groaner got himself off of the bed with a grunt and walked over, stretching his arms above his head. 

"Oh yeah, well, newsflash, I only wanna read stuff with 'the pale one' in it, call me egocentric but I want to see what justice you've done me... Or well, injustice, if you will..." He murmured with a wave of his hand, smirking just a tiny bit at the way Black Saturn hunched. "How many ya got." 

The seated man shifted, turning in his swivel chair to look up at the clown. 

"Uhh... I don't know, like... a few..." He cleared his throat. "Dozen. But they're not all done..." Saturn trailed off, watching as a smug look began to grow on the other man's face and his hands went to his hips. 

"Read me one. Your best one. Like, your favorite--" 

"You just were... Okay, fine. I mean, it's better than that one. Uhh... how far did you get, anyway?"

"Not far enough." Groaner breathed out, grasping the top of the chair with both hands and leaning over Saturn's shoulder. "Oooh, what do we have-- wait a second, you haven't written you and that goob, have you?" He murmured with a thumb jerk towards the paused tv.

"....OhmyGod, what a great idea..." CJ exhaled, his eyes rounding at the very prospect. 

"DON'T!" Groaner jerked the chair back so Saturn was leaning back far enough to meet his gaze. "Don't even think about it, man!!! Come on! I wanna hear what you wrote about meee... Not *him*..." 

Stroked by the prospect of getting to show off his literary prowess, Black Saturn shifted in the chair, wiggling out of the other's grasp before gesturing to the bed. 

"Well have a seat, crack open a cold one with your boy!" He grinned and offered one of the last remaining two brews to his foe. Liquid courage would do any body good, right? 

"Ya know..." Groaner took the beer, tinked it against Saturn's bottle and moved the pizza boxes off of the bed before taking a heavy seat. "I'm ready to be dazzled." 

"If you say so, but I won't be held responsible if you fall instantly in love with me...."  Better not read that one then, too soon for 'Love Potion #69' 

"Mmm, sure, we'll blame it on spontaneous human infatuation then, eh? How long ago did you write this one?" 

Saturn paused, opening the file of choice then letting out a sigh. 

"Uhh... recently?" He cleared his throat. "Just... let me start, okay?" 

"As you wish, Buttercup!" Black Saturn let out a sigh at that, taking a big gulp of beer before starting. 

~~~

_'Black Saturn sat atop the roof of the local Arby's in Storm City, peering off into the night. It had been a day of trivial nonsense for the league of Justice but there had been no sign of the nemesis of the dark vigilante so tonight, he was on the prowl for his revered foe._

_The evil cretin known as The Groaner was out on the loose again and intel pointed to the pickle factory that both men were familiar with. It made Saturn think of the clown, of his incredibly dexterous hands '_

~~~

"Okay, ya know, this is starting out better..." The Groaner began, taking another sip of his beer. 

This was actually pretty goddamn amazing. How he'd convinced (and so easily!!) Saturn into reading to him was nothing short of artwork and hell if it wasn't already some kind of peripherally arousing to have the person who was writing the story (About himself) read it  too. Idly, the clown wondered at what point of the story it would dawn on his 'dark vigilante' that this was wholly inappropriate and like, one of the most backward seduction tactics on the planet. 

But it was probably gonna work out for the big guy... 

"Want me to keep going?" 

"Yup!" 

~~~ 

_'There was an absence to the fight when Groaner wasn't there. Sure, there were other foes who could be close to the challenge, but there was something about the clown that made Black Saturn want to fight harder, be strong, be more powerful. He wanted to be as much of an adversary as he found the man he was brooding over. And it wasn't easy to brood over a clown.'_

~~~

"Ya got that right!" Groaner drained the rest of his beer and tossed the bottle in the garbage,  taking a moment to stretch before lying back, arms folded behind his head. "Go on..." 

~~~ 

_'The clown was his arch-nemesis! There were no doubts or ifs and or buts about it! It was them, Saturn and Groaner in a battle of good and evil until the end of time. Well, maybe just for some time. Maybe they could become adversaries, maybe even friends if the clown should ever turn over a new leaf. But yes, the thing with the Groaner was complicated, but it was stuff that neither of them should know that had Black Saturn even broodier.'_

~~~ 

"What information?" The Groaner sat up, too intrigued to take this lying down.

"You're married in the future." He said too flippantly, leaning on one elbow before tapping at the keyboard and fixing a typo. 

"Wait-- what? You went to the future?!?" 

"I'll get to it in the story.." 

"Wait no, no you can't JUST like, say something like that and just CARRY ON like it's not a big deal!!!" 

"I'll reveal--"

"No, dude! Tell me _now_." The tone was terse and short and it made CJ cringe. It was almost like being scolded and he had to obey, once again, with immediacy. 

Saturn whirled in his chair, hands on his knees and sucked in a deep breath, though he kept his gaze beyond the clown, on the window. It was easier to focus on something vague than have to admit that he'd been sitting on this tidbit for a few weeks and not said anything. 

"I... ended up getting sent in the future so THAT version of me could come back here and stop Ranger and Zenith from having a kid and when I was in the future I ran into you. Like, directly into you."

"Go on..." 

"And you were married." 

"To who, to you?" 

"I... don't actually know that much. But-- uhhh!" He brightened suddenly, a grin crossing face. "--you DID kiss me in order to keep us from getting in trouble... I... don't know why it worked either and when I was getting sent back here I saw the back of older me giving you the longest hug." 

"Huh." 

"I know, right? It's like, at least we are still friends in the future... I mean and I saved the world-- don't get too much credit for that one though..." Saturn said with a smile, finally flicking his eyes to clown, who seemed to be in a deep state of ponder. 

"Yeah... So... The future me got to kiss you first, huh." 

"Uhhh... yes?"

"That is some fucking bullshit, man." 

"Wh..what? Why?" 

"Why?? Come on!! It's like, he's CLEARLY married to you IN the future and then he gets to steal the first kiss too? I mean, that's some actual, factual bullshit right there..." 

"...Clearly?" Was all CJ could muster, staring back at the now haughty, standing clown. 

"YES CLEARLY!!! Do you think, for one freaking second, as I live and breathe," He exhaled, pressing a hand to his chest as he attempted to stifle getting overwhelmed. "-- that I would just sit around and let you get married to anyone other than ME?! Now, read the goddamn story!" The Groaner barked, sitting down heavily, arms folding across his chest. 

How dare... He. Future. He. Himself. Shit. DAMN. 

Black Saturn stared at the other man, biting the inside of his bottom lip as he slowly whirled the chair back to face the computer and let out a breath. 

~~~

_'How could the Groaner get married to...'_

_~~~_

CJ cleared his throat, glancing over his shoulder with a tiny grin, then back to the monitor.

~~~

_'...anybody but him?' Was all the vigilante could think about. The kiss had been intense but all it had done was make him yearn for one in the present. But where to begin? It would be easier just to fight him, continue on like foes and see where the future brought them. Maybe he'd even grow to like the Groaner's wife or husband.'_

~~~

The clown scoffed again, arms still folded over his chest, feeling mildly moody still.

"Shit, even YOU ship it... so like, was it even a good kiss or... what?"

"Were you even listening to the story?"

"Yeah, yeah, I was 'How could he be married to a woman or a man, time will tell' let's just... get back to what ACTUALLY happened. Was it decent? I mean, you've written about it, so you're thinking about it but... Was it like, write home to Mom good or mark the Calendar good?" 

Saturn visibly tensed at that, feeling his face get warm and resumed biting his bottom lip as he stared blankly at his monitor. 

"Tell meeee..."

 

"It was quick and short and it had a lot of tongue but it wasn't like..." He swallowed, snapping his mouth shut. 

"Wasn't like what..."

"I mean, there was no build up, you just grabbed me and kissed--" That didn't stop CJ's face from flushing beneath his cowl. "-- It was to save our lives, so I REALLY can't be complaining about it, I'm not complaining."

"Sounds like you're complaining..." Groaner murmured, then tilted his head to the side. "You want to try it again?"

"Uhhh... what?"

"Maybe it's the beer talking,  but I'm not entirely comfortable with having my reputation slighted, even if it's by the actions of my future self." 

"Huh?"

"Look, man, you wanna kiss or what?"

CJ blinked at the other man, his brain at full-disconnect as he nodded slowly. 

"It's just for the sake of posterity and proving a point." The clown assured, scooting over unnecessarily on the bed and patting the space next to him. "It'll make your story more authentic too." 

"Oooh...  Uhh... that's a good point..." 

A quick save and Saturn stood, the computer chair rolling off as he tried not to move too quickly to his bed. This... was almost LIKE fanfic! But it was real and he could feel the way his bed barely dipped beneath the other man's weight. They were close enough to brush shoulders and did as the Groaner shifted a little, leaning back on one arm as he half-turned to face his nemesis. 

"Tell me what happens in the rest of your story." 

"Huh..?" 

"Man, is that your new catchphrase or something?" The clown smiled at the way Black Saturn bristled, "Come on, just give me a run down..."

"It's not..." The vigilante turned to face the other man, brow furrowing beneath his cowl as a whine left his throat. "--I thought we were gonna kiss..." He exhaled, biting his bottom lip out of frustration. 

"Ohhh... We are gonna... It gets sappy, doesn't it? They all probably do." Groaner sat up, looking away from the Lip Bite that would forever fuck him up and let out a little laugh. "So, I'm gonna go out on a limb here-- bet Mange takes off his mouth piece and he and ' _Prison Bitchmaker' Groaner'_ \--" This said with the necessary air quotes. "-- kiss, right?" 

That bottom lip got bitten harder as CJ Wheelihan was called right the fuck out.

"Happens in this story too, huh."

"Hah... You said my new catchphrase..."

"It must have been pretty good then!" The clown murmured,  letting out something of a relieved breath before shifting to lean back on his arm, this time a noticeable fraction closer. 

He was a CLOWN, but he wasn't a FOOL. It didn't take a complete idiot to see that there was something of a crush going on here... and it wasn't entirely one-sided. Groaner could admit that to himself, hell, he'd been practically admitting it to Saturn for months now, but dense man is supremely dense.   

"Since you can't get it out of your head..." He continued, sounding mildly smug. 

"Hey, it's uhh... for research..." Black Saturn breathed out, eyes lidding as leaned a little bit closer, then swallowed his breath, trying to keep calm. 

"For the fanfics you're writing..." Groaner smirked a bit, an eyebrow arching as he reached up and grazed his hand against the taller man's jaw, repositioning him just a tad. 

"Yup..." The vigilante panted out in a quick breath, eyes almost shutting as he tilted his head a little more, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. 

"About us..." His nemesis nearly whispered against those lips that had been unfairly taken by his future-self. 

"Uh-huh..." CJ exhaled, lips brushing the other man's mouth and the Groaner shook his head in awe at how stupid this man was before drawing him closer, closing the space between their faces. 

This kiss was not like the frantic, 'let's not get killed' kiss they'd shared before, it didn't have that edge of 'this might be the last kiss I ever get with my husband, better make it count' desperation as the one that Saturn had shared with the future Groaner. No, this was not rushed, this was a study in making out. 

As he'd written dozens of times over, Black Saturn's arms slid around the other man's body, anatomically, it was impossible for him to be able to stroke his hair at this angle (something he'd have to reverse-edit out, damn anatomy) but he couldn't help how hard he was grasping at the clown's vest, as if he was going to fall when they broke apart which wasn't going to happen as he was nudged back down to the bed, his bottom lip bitten by the other man and drawn into his mouth. 

"Hahh..uhhh..." That... felt a little too amazing and he let out a noise that was a little but too close to a whimper, holding his nemesis to him. 

"You're so easy..." Groaner murmured out, pressing his face against the other's cape and cowled neck and hugged him in a way that was reminiscent of how he'd seen the future Groaner embrace his future-self and Saturn let out a noise of agreement, clutching the other man to him. 

"I think you're right..."

"I don't even know what you're talking about and I like how that sounds." The clown sat up, shifting into a seated position and pulled the other man with him. "Go on..."

"A...about you being married to me in the future..." Came the breath from Black Saturn. "Cuz there is NO WAY you'd kiss another guy like that if you didn't totally want them!" He teased, feeling oddly smug for ultimately being duped into a kiss and admitting one of his deepest secrets. More people knew he was CJ Wheelihan than knew that he was the infamous ' _Black Satin_ ' on archiveforeverybody.org. 

"Ohh yeaaah, you totally got me! But see, I _really_ have a thing for Mange..."

"What?" Saturn blanched, his mouth falling open in surprise at the clown's admission. 

"Oh my God, you're a big sweet idiot, huh." Groaner shook his head in mild annoyance but smiled regardless, grasping Black Saturn's chin and drawing his face close to shut him up with another kiss. 

"My catchph--" 

When they broke apart again, Saturn sat back on his arms, mildly dazed as he stared at his eggplant purple walls. 

"You know that I'm Mange, right? Didn't you get that far in the story?" He breathed, finally looking over at the clown who was idly tugging at his tie. 

"Oh yeah, no, I got to the part where I 'Pretty Woman'd you and then started almost shower sodomizing you." 

Black Saturn took a moment to graciously look embarrassed before lying back, his arms folded behind his head. 

"--But I don't tend to move that fast with, say, was that just some bullshit fanfiction fodder you wrote there, about me being married in the future?" 

The reclining man was up suddenly, grasping at the Groaner's left hand, holding it between his palms. 

"No... No way. I mean, you get a gold one. Nice... perfect, 'I belong to somebody' gold band. Very traditional for such  not traditional guy..." CJ mumbled, feeling another wave of deja-vu at having that hand in his and grinned a little too widely. 

"You're such a dork, I can't believe it... I mean..." Groaner leaned in, letting his hand be held and gave into tipping that face to his for another kiss. He hadn't been stopped yet and considering that the man who was on receiving end was often starved for attention and affection, it was unlikely that he was going to be halted. "...only a guy named CJ could be as much of a nerd as you are..." 

"Hey, CJ is an extremely masculine name."

"Rhymes with BJ." 

"That may be so..." He had nothing, shrugged and leaned forward to initiate a kiss for once. It was exhilarating to not be denied, to have the other man tip his head to accommodate him, eyes lidded and the ghost of a smile on his face before they went back to making out. It felt too natural to fall into sync with someone he'd honestly been tangled with for so long and this time he was in the right position to touch the other's hair. Maybe this wasn't the right time to tell him that he started losing his luscious locks, but it might be worth making mention off-handedly sometime in the future. They broke apart slowly, a cowled nose brushing that big red round one and Saturn sucked in a sharp breath. "Wait a sec, you... you know my alter-ego?" 

"Yeah babe, like, everyone does." 

"Why haven't you tried to like, kidnap my parents or brother or something sinister like that?"

"I don't have a car, remember?"

"True, true..." 

"Besides, it's better to keep flying under the radar and doing the most sinister thing of them all..."

Black Saturn's eyebrows rose under his cowl, looking like he was genuinely taken by surprise. 

"What could that be?!"

"Turning their oldest son gay and withholding grandchildren unless they are in the form of petssss..." He hissed, wiggling his fingers at the other man . "And destroying your ass, I'm going to do that too." 

"'Turned me gay'..." Saturn scoffed, unwinding his arms from the clown before lying back down on his side, lounging as he gazed up, looking every bit of fey. "I'm really only gay for you."

Groaner snorted at that, pulling his tie open and letting it flutter almost suggestively to the bed, but the other man had let out a little yawn and honestly, that wouldn't be so bad right now. Sure, there was a terrible ache in his loins but that could wait... 

"Better only be gay for me... You'll see me really become despicable..." The clown murmured as he lay down, resting his red head on Saturn's outstretched arm. 

"You're the jealous type, huh?"

"I'm the possessive type, huh." Groaner exhaled, snuggling a little closer, his hands folding beneath his head as he got comfortable. "And you love it, I'm sure."

CJ gazed at the other man, at the way he was relaxing against him on his bed, at his eyes shutting and let out a pleased sigh. This was better than anything he'd ever written and there were no dicks (yet) but there would be, that was for certain. 

"I do..." He murmured, more deja-vu hitting him as he draped his other arm over the Groaner's middle and they both faded out Jack Reacher 2 paused on the tv.  

Epilogue - 

It should have been weirder, to wake up with a half-dressed Groaner, under his arm, on his bed. The clown had at some point kicked off his shoes and discarded his vest and dress shirt, left in an undershirt that was as white as he was. 

Judging by the lack of light coming in from the window, it was still way too early to even be awake but CJ shifted to sit up, unclasping his cape and tossing his gloves before flinging off his boots. The top part of the cowl popped from his skull and with a soft noise, Saturn rolled his head from side to side, liberated from his rings for a little while.  

He glanced back down at the other man, tired and pleased as he lay back down, arms curling around the thin body beside him. 

Yeah, it should have been way weirder but it just made him happy. Especially more happy that Groaner was still here and hadn't skipped off in the middle of the night like anyone else would have. 

The clown shifted enough to cause CJ freeze for a moment but the skinny man merely turned, clutching the arm around his middle as he snuggled back into Black Saturn's chest and the vigilante felt himself flush then let out a sigh, pressing his face into that mess of curly red hair as he grinned himself back to sleep. 

This wasn't weird, it was natural, 

This is what husbands would do and sure... that was a little forward than it should be but it was just the beginning of what it would be. 


End file.
